Rule #2: Remember who you are before the world told you who to be.

Life has a funny way of coming crashing down around you at the exact moment you believe the tide was turning.

That crash reminds you just how much on the precipice you always were, and in many respects–always will be…

However, in your moment(s) of weakness, despair, and misery the veil of illusion is pulled back. You remember who you are, your purpose, and your destiny long before the world super imposed the wishes, desires, and hopes of society and conformity upon you. It is in your darkest hour you remember who you are before the world told you , who to be.

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Rule #2: Most of working (or dealing) with others comes down to communication. (Alternatively: all relationships come down to communication(even the crap-tastic ones).

Have you ever been sick ? Or better yet, lets’ start with the question– have you ever had a sick friend, partner, sibling, or anyone that you care about ?

apartment bed carpet chair
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When they are sick, you pull out all the stops that you can think of:

  • giving them quietness to rest,
  • above average check-in’s to see if they are still breathing (no really, but kind of really),
  • even if you are really T-Oed with this person, putting on the sweet “how are you doing? do you need anything voice”,

and the list goes on. No request is too big and you are willing to pull out all the stops you can think up.

Days later…your loved one has recovered and you are back to being your sassy and witty yourself (or maybe that is just me!).

Days go speed by, the weeks roll on, and a few months later–it is your turn to be sick. However, now when are sick and infirmed the same care, concern, and prioritization you gave in the not so distant past is amiss!

That is not to say you are not being cared for or checked-in on. But, something… you cannot quite put your finger on is missing.

Now, you are sick but you have to provide what seems to be play-by-play instructions…

  • Can you get Alevee from the pharmacy?
  • While you are out can you grab some green tea?
  • Please make sure payment is remitted for the rent? (truth be told, I do not go around saying “be sure to remit payment for (insert x thing needing payment) this just seemed like an opportune time to use the word remit).

While trying to hold onto the precipice of life, you are now also stuck giving 50,000,000 instructions for what you believe are self-explanatory and straightforward task.

PAUSE. PUMP YOUR BREAKS! ( if you are reading this while driving, do not pump your breaks unless there has been a loss of pressure.)

red stop signage under clear blue sky
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The fact is.. we often don’t communicate as well as we think!

Often times we imply what we thought we expressly stated.

We express what we assume is unknown.

And we do what we knows needs to be done.

But when it comes time to turn over the task to someone else, we have not communicated no where near as much as we are THINKING.

Which brings us to rule #2: most of working (or dealing) with others comes down to communication. Stated different all relationships come down to communication (even the crap-tastic ones) . So here are some quick answers to questions you may often think to yourself (questions not included):

  • No– your loved one does not know that it hurts to think and you need them to step up and take care of task with little input from you.
  • No– your supervisor does not know that they cannot talk to you any old way.
    • Yes, your supervisor may be out of their mother loving mind
  • Yes– you may very well be pissed off about something and not know what it is… But it is your duty to figure it out, report it out to those that need to be communicated with, and work it out

Stay tuned for a follow up to rule #2… Notice, I said “most of working (or dealing) with others…” As a sneak preview — rule #3 deals with what to do when it is not you but it’s them!

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Rule #1: You are born, life is tough, you die! (simply state: life is hard!)

When I was younger, I believed life was not hard but we, as in people, made it difficult. I still believe this is the case. However, while Adulting, at some point in time, I realized life really was…is…hard!

It’s hard for several reasons, in millennial bulleted fashion:

  1. there is always something you don’t know
  2. there is always something you don’t know that you don’t know
  3. there is always someone who has nothing better to do than to concern themselves with what you are doing, why you are doing it, and when you are doing it
  4. at some point in time you are likely to suffer, or are suffering from the disease known as more (where what you have is never enough and you want more)
  5. at some point in time you are bound to fall asleep behind the wheel, and when you wake up your life has been side-tracked–and you are not quite sure how to get it back on track
  6. the pain of believed sunken cost will consume you (i.e. I have already spent 3 years of my life as an English major, why change now– by the way I was a poli sci major, this is truly an example)
  7. sometimes life is plain and simple difficult and you do not know why
  8. Bullsh*t rolls down hill
  9. if you were born into a financially challenged family (because broke and poor are words that should be used sparingly) it may seem like you are in a never ending press to get ahead or if you were born into a family of comfortable means are always trying to escape the privilege or shadow of those means (so I’m told, I still am working on arriving)
  10. As your mom told you when you were younger, simply because….

Regardless of the reason accept that life is hard but never let it stop you from being even tougher. Roll with the punches, and when the opportunity presents itself, or you make the opportunity–throw a few blows back!

Rule #1: Life is hard…so deal! 

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Rule #72: When giving a f*ck is too much work…don’t!

On the Adulting journey, some days you wake up with little to no cares.  Your general disposition, attitude, and psyche can be summed up with this face:


Some how you need to still pull yourself: (1) out of bed; (2) brush your teeth; (3) take a shower; (4) get dressed; (5) get to your destination; and then (6) interact with your colleagues, friends, associates, and strangers…. But wait, as if that did not call for all the effort and energy you already do not have, you need to interact with others with a smile, or at least some feigned interest, care, and concern.

Meanwhile, your mind is going about as fast as the pour-over cup of coffee you are making (assuming you were able to afford coffee that month–who am I kidding, you are always able to afford coffee, maybe not food, but definitely coffee) scrambling with the real important questions of the day:

What’s for dinner?

If I pack everything up right now and move back home, am I failure or am I being financially prudent?

Hmmm, as to that last question, what is the difference between begin a failure and having failed?

Oh, Sugar, Honey, Iced, Tea—I forgot to lock the door! Wait, I did lock the door(phew!)

…Wait, did I lock the door?! Oh, yeah, I did !(at least that’s what I am going to tell myself because I simply cannot deal with anymore disappointment and not locking the door may very well break me right now)

Will I be able to pay my rent, car payment, utilities, and buy food this month?… Oh shot, I will– God is shinning down on me this month!!

After being side-tracked by contemplating real issues, you are snapped back to the misery of the day by some overzealous colleague, customer, client, stranger–person–needing something. A lot more something then you have to give.

At which point you scrounge up every bit of the little energy you have, to provide to the best of your ability a thorough and pleasant response. This act continues person-after-person, hour-after-hour, until your day comes to an end.

Finally, you gather your belongs, the remainder of your energy, wit, and mental capacity and shuffle off to your next destination…and finally home!

At long last you reach home…but wait, you have no energy to read the magazine article you planned to read, work on what you are sure will be the next great American novel, or paint a portrait that would put Da Vinci to shame. The endeavors you know some how in your soul will turn your situation around–reading that article will unlock the financial plan that will have you retire a millionaire at 30, or writing that novel will turn you into the next Stephen King.

So, rule #72: when giving a f*ck is too much work, don’t!Use this rule with caution– sometimes you have to pull yourself through the day, but remember always save a little energy for yourself and your own endeavors.

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