Have you ever been sick ? Or better yet, lets’ start with the question– have you ever had a sick friend, partner, sibling, or anyone that you care about ?
When they are sick, you pull out all the stops that you can think of:
- giving them quietness to rest,
- above average check-in’s to see if they are still breathing (no really, but kind of really),
- even if you are really T-Oed with this person, putting on the sweet “how are you doing? do you need anything voice”,
and the list goes on. No request is too big and you are willing to pull out all the stops you can think up.
Days later…your loved one has recovered and you are back to being your sassy and witty yourself (or maybe that is just me!).
Days go speed by, the weeks roll on, and a few months later–it is your turn to be sick. However, now when are sick and infirmed the same care, concern, and prioritization you gave in the not so distant past is amiss!
That is not to say you are not being cared for or checked-in on. But, something… you cannot quite put your finger on is missing.
Now, you are sick but you have to provide what seems to be play-by-play instructions…
- Can you get Alevee from the pharmacy?
- While you are out can you grab some green tea?
- Please make sure payment is remitted for the rent? (truth be told, I do not go around saying “be sure to remit payment for (insert x thing needing payment) this just seemed like an opportune time to use the word remit).
While trying to hold onto the precipice of life, you are now also stuck giving 50,000,000 instructions for what you believe are self-explanatory and straightforward task.
PAUSE. PUMP YOUR BREAKS! ( if you are reading this while driving, do not pump your breaks unless there has been a loss of pressure.)
The fact is.. we often don’t communicate as well as we think!
Often times we imply what we thought we expressly stated.
We express what we assume is unknown.
And we do what we knows needs to be done.
But when it comes time to turn over the task to someone else, we have not communicated no where near as much as we are THINKING.
Which brings us to rule #2: most of working (or dealing) with others comes down to communication. Stated different all relationships come down to communication (even the crap-tastic ones) . So here are some quick answers to questions you may often think to yourself (questions not included):
- No– your loved one does not know that it hurts to think and you need them to step up and take care of task with little input from you.
- No– your supervisor does not know that they cannot talk to you any old way.
- Yes, your supervisor may be out of their mother loving mind
- Yes– you may very well be pissed off about something and not know what it is… But it is your duty to figure it out, report it out to those that need to be communicated with, and work it out
Stay tuned for a follow up to rule #2… Notice, I said “most of working (or dealing) with others…” As a sneak preview — rule #3 deals with what to do when it is not you but it’s them!
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